I've been doing some serious soul searching as I officially begin a new chapter in my life tomorrow. It's very frustrating to be a writer who can't seem to find time to write. But I'm not an excuses kind of guy. I could blame it all on my job, or my situation, or the general cloud depression I've been living under for the past several years. But it's all those things, and it's none of those things. It just is. And it just has to stop.
Ever feel like you've been living the life that other people seem to think you should be living? After graduating college with a BA in Theatre and a minor in Writing I was promptly advised to "get a real job." Well, 13 years later, I don't have a whole lot to show for it.
Well, that's all about to change. I officially shed off the last bits of negativity in my life. There's no one to tell me my writing is crap. There's no one to tell me that my dreams and desires are stupid and a waste of time. There's no more mental abuse and there's nothing holding me back.
Everyone - Meet Zen Bradley...
****
Well, I've never been shot before.
Zen lay curled up in a fetal position clutching at her stomach. Raindrops fell in her upward facing ear as she attempted to be still enough to make the shooter, whose pacing steps made soggy little splashes on the wet pavement, think she was dead. Fat lot of good
Bang.
Three bullets.
Damn it! Kidney. Be still... he's still near enough. I wonder if the bullets will stay in or pop out?
Zen drew a slow, deep breath as she waited for just the right second. Suddenly, in a swift single motion swung out a leg and swept King off his feet and was on top of him. The pain in her side was excruciating, and she could feel the bullet go deeper into her kidney. But she knew what she had to do. Gritting her teeth, she tore off her gloves and plunged her reddened hands onto King's face.
"What? What are you doing to me!" King shouted as she felt the palms of her hands burn into his skin. "No!"
"Who's the 'little doggie' now?" Zen asked with a disgusted grin as the pain in her stomach began to ease. Suddenly with two pops, King's stomach burst in the same place where the bullets had penetrated her pale skin. Then his kidney went.
She stood and stretched, leaving King writhing on the ground in agony. She was still covered in blood, but her wounds were closed. She couldn't feel the bullets anymore so hopefully they dissolved or melted, or vaporized, or something. Who cares? As long as they weren't floating around inside her abdomen, she didn't care either.
Quickly, she picked up her gloves and put them back on. Time to tend to
****
I'd like to take a moment, before I sign off tonight to thank all my family and friends who have listened and allowed me to vent my troubles to them over the last few years. Things will be better. This year is going to be epic. Why? Because I'm going to make it epic.
Candie, you've made me so happy over the last few months. I really feel like I've met a kindred spirit in you and I hope we have a long and happy future together. Thanks also to your family for being so welcoming.
Patrick, my brother from another mother. Friends for nearly 25 years, we've been through it all. Thanks for being there and sticking by me, even when circumstances separated us.
Cory, I know we haven't spoken much lately, but you and your family mean a lot to me, and I'm happy to call you friend.
Kim, you are so talented and amazing - don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise. You always manage to help me stay positive!
I'm so grateful to have all of you in my life, but I promise you now, the best is yet to come!
Big day tomorrow - must sleep.
Later,
KB
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